One Checkbook Or Two... What Should You Do?
By Ellie Kay
Summer 2007
When Bob and I got married, we combined his two girls and five new children in our first seven years of marriage. We combined two complete households of stuff as well as all our liabilities and assets. But a major question still needed to be resolved: Should we keep one checkbook or two?
This is a significant decision couples should discuss. Some couples insist that the unity of their marriage should include everything, even the checkbook. Others say they are able to manage their finances better with two accounts. Let’s look at both sides.
My One And Only
If one spouse works part-time or stays home with the children, then maintaining only one checkbook is a common option.
Pros: In many cases, a single account works best for several reasons. The first is economic, because checking accounts usually include a service fee. Free checking usually requires a minimum balance, harder to maintain for two accounts than for one. Lower balances in two accounts, rather than a higher balance in one, could disqualify accounts from interest-bearing options.
Another advantage: less bookkeeping. You need just one monthly reconciliation and one set of books. In most marriages, one person is more adept at keeping records than the other, and this is easier with only one account.
Lenn Furrow, who runs a social services agency and has counseled couples for 15 years, says, “Money is such an intimate issue in marriage… Some couples believe that sharing one checkbook is an extension of the intimate nature of their relationship.”
Cons: The use of one checkbook can blur the lines of responsibility for the various tasks of paying bills, entering checks, reconciling the account and managing the budget. (And it’s harder to surprise a spouse with a holiday or birthday present!)
Tip: If checkbook management responsibilities are clearly defined, a one-checkbook approach can cause fewer complications.
When Two Will Do
Pros: A two-income couple must decide whether to deposit both paychecks into one account or two separate accounts. One option is to create a “household account” where each spouse contributes and maintains a sense of sharing some part of the household finances. This is an approach used by some military couples who marry in their 30s with established careers and a large disparity in financial assets.
Plus, in the event of an at-home business, a separate account is necessary for tax purposes.
Cons: One spouse usually makes more money than the other, so they must determine who contributes how much to the household account, or they will need to divide the bills proportionally according to income. This means more books to keep and a greater margin for error.
Without thoughtful communication and accountability, two checkbooks can create the feeling of “yours” and “mine” rather than “ours.” A separate account is not recommended for a spouse who tends to overspend or lacks strong money management skills.
Tip: This approach works best for those who earnestly seek ease and efficiency in tracking and managing household finances. It is never advisable to maintain two checkbooks because of a lack of trust. Dr. Robert Smith, a counselor and savvy financial guy, says, “It may seem helpful to keep separate accounts where one of the two has some sense of insecurity, financial or otherwise. However, even then, a separate account only treats the symptom and doesn’t confront the real issue involved – trust.”
Perfect Timing
It is critical to marital health to review money matters on a regular basis. Bob and I might go out for coffee as a way to make financial discussions as informal and uplifting as possible. In the event of a specific financial need or budget problem, we also bring along the paperwork to help solve it. Everyone should discuss family finances at least once a month.
If your marriage is struggling under a load of debt or where an out-of-control spender is wrecking your household, then consider professional guidance. Ed Wilson, a financial counselor at a military family support center, says, “We can help a lot of families right here in our offices, but if a couple can no longer handle their payments, I refer them to a credit counseling service for a debt management program.”
With a strategic plan and mutual accountability, you can decide whether one checkbook or two will do in your family!
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Ellie Kay is an author, radio/TV commentator and motivational speaker at military events. Her newest book is “Half-Price Living: The Secrets of Living Well on One Income” (Moody Press, 2007). She is the wife of a fighter pilot and mother of seven children. To receive Ellie’s free newsletter, browse money-saving tips or invite her to speak at your military base, visit www.elliekay.com.
