Stay Positive And Proactive In Your New Community
By Diane Marty
Summer 2004
OK, you've done the hard part. Half-empty moving boxes litter unfamiliar rooms, the beds are assembled and you've found your way to the nearest grocery store. In a house that still holds the echoes and smells of its former residents, you realize it's up to you to make this new place a home.
The following tips might help ease your family into a new community.
- Allow yourself time and leeway. It's natural to feel sad and overwhelmed at first.
- Play hooky. Don't take on days and days of unpacking and neglect the social side of your move.
- Contact friends and relatives about their ties to your new town. Someone always will know someone who lives or has lived in your new community.
- Invite a close relative or friend to stay with you right after the move. The two of you can explore unfamiliar territory together, and you'll have an extra pair of hands to help unpack.
- Scope out the territory. Send for state, regional and local brochures from tourism boards. Raid the libraries. Buy area travel guides. Subscribe to newsletters from recreation boards, museums and state parks.
- Act like a tourist. Attend festivals, lectures and special events. Many townships offer guided tours of scandalous and significant sites.
- Never say "no" to an invitation, even if you're in the middle of getting settled. You may not be offered a second chance.
- Cultivate continuity. Choose a new "favorite" restaurant to celebrate life's milestones. Go to the same grocery store checkout clerks. Establish relationships with barbers/hair stylists, doctors and dentists.
- Be proactive. Don't wait for neighbors to welcome you. Stand tradition on its head by visiting your new neighbors with a "Hello, I'm new in town" offering of homemade baked goods or the like.
- Work in the front yard. Even if your thumb is more black than green, passersby and window watchers will find this an ideal opportunity to stroll by and begin conversations.
- Avoid going on and on about the benefits of another place. At best, it's boring. At worst, it alienates prospective friends.
- Hobby up. Hiking, folk dancing, stamp or sports memorabilia collecting, and genealogy are just a few of the diversions with an international following. Most have a national organization as well as local chapters.
- Start a scrapbook journal. Collect photos, brochures and other odds and ends. Keep it handy where family members can jot down their thoughts.
- Latch on to other newbies. Seek out other families who have moved recently. Chances are they will be in the same stage of getting settled, so their calendars will have as much white space as yours.
- Go back to school. Photography, computer, flower arranging and exercise classes permit you to establish consistency and connections. Order catalogs for community and technical colleges. Coffee houses, craft stores and cooking schools also host clubs and classes.
- Be a good sport. Tennis, bowling and golf leagues, as well as the local gym or fitness club, all offer the instant camaraderie of shared interests.
- Give of yourself. Volunteering fuses the satisfaction of helping others with the pleasure of meeting new people.
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Diane Marty is a freelance writer living in Colorado.
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Easing The Adjustment
Residential Connection Service Network. Comparison shop and directly purchase telecommunications and other household-related services online.
Standard Installation Topic Exchange Service. Information on housing, community services, child care and more for military installations around the world. (Must be enrolled in the DEERS system.)
Settling In . Get organized and find employment or educational opportunities.
Families Helping Families. Get support from other military families and organizations.
Source: National Military Family Association
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Related articles:
What To Do When You Receive Your PCS Orders: Tips for Military Families.
Military Family Deployment: How To Prepare, Cope And Recoup
Home Is Where The Military Sends You - Getting To Know Your New Military Town
Friendships In The Military
What To Do When Deployment Strikes - Financial Affairs, Updating Your Will, Power of Attorney
Military Family Relocation: Stay Positive And Proactive In Your New Community
Adapting To A New Community - Help from Military Relocation Offices
Military Family Finances: Surviving the Financial Stress of Deployment
