By Carl Surran
Not What He Had In Mind
Fall 2003
Thought you might get a laugh from this joke, courtesy of About.com military columnist Rod Powers:
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next and says, "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He delivers a kick to Osama's knee.
Osama is subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people sharing the same love for liberty and America.
As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up and hurls him back toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams, "This is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies, "I told you there would be 70 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
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