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By SARAH SMILEY
Will The Smileys Ever Move Again? Apparently, Yes
Dustin came home from work one day about five years ago and said, “What do you think about moving to Pensacola again?”We had lived in Pensacola, Fla., once before, when we were first married and Dustin was finishing flight school.
“We’ve already been to Pensacola,” I said. “I’d rather go somewhere new.”
Of course, when Uncle Sam decides where military families should move, ideas that begin with “I’d rather” or “I want” rarely enter into the conversation. Wait, I take that back; they never enter into the conversation.
Expressing opinions, in this way, bears a striking resemblance to playing “What’s My Favorite?” with my five-year-old son, Owen.
Owen: Mom, guess which is my favorite type of ice cream, chocolate or vanilla?
Me: I already know that it’s chocolate.
Owen: Not today. Today it’s strawberry.
No matter how many times you play “where would you like to move” with your husband, Uncle Sam’s response usually is an unexpected, previously unmentioned choice with either really cold winters or bugs the size of small dinosaurs.
“Yes, we should definitely try something new while the kids are still young,” I told Dustin five years ago, and promptly began daydreaming about someplace – any place – I had never seen before.
A few weeks after that, Dustin came home and said, “I got my orders. We’re moving to Pensacola.” My next natural question, after the obvious one (“Why, why, why do they even ask for our opinion?”), was, “So when do we move?”
This, by the way, reminds me of another game Owen likes to play called “Guess How Many?”
Owen: Mom, guess how many straws I’m holding behind my back.
Me: Four.
Owen (Quickly dropping a straw to the ground): Nope, three (dropping another straw). Now guess how many, Mom.
Me: One.
Owen (picking up straws from the floor): Nope, five.
I admit that at first I was bitter about moving to Pensacola. I felt like we were going in reverse while our friends – friends with orders to Nebraska, California and Germany – were moving on to new experiences. Dustin reminded me that the Navy isn’t in the business of providing my choices of traveling opportunities. Uncle Sam isn’t my life coach or real estate agent. Something about “needs of the Navy” was mentioned. Well, whatever!
But then something unexpected happened – actually, two things. First, I began to love Pensacola and didn’t want to leave. Second, we didn’t leave. Dustin received back-to-back orders to the same duty station, changing only the squadron to which he was assigned.
We have been in Pensacola for five years now. In the past, I was afraid to mention this fact because I didn’t want to draw needless attention to it” “The Smileys are still in Pensacola? They haven’t moved? Well that’s not very Navy! Let’s send them to Alaska for six months, and then to Guam. That will teach them to stay in one place longer than two years!”
But the cat is out of the bag now, because just the other day, Dustin came home and said, “Would you be willing to move absolutely anywhere next year?” Actually, he came home first, watched football, surfed the net, ate a sandwich, then asked me the question while he was brushing his teeth and I was getting into bed. “Why are you asking me this right now?” I begged. “Why not five hours ago when you got home from work? Now I’ll never sleep!”
Yes, it’s true, the Smileys will finally leave Pensacola, and I am filled with unexpected sadness about saying goodbye to the city where I didn’t want to live. It is a dangerous thing when a military family becomes settled in any given place, when they finally have somewhere to call “home.” The deeper the roots go, the harder it becomes to transplant the tree.
But perhaps you’re wondering about the where and when of our relocation. We will leave next spring, give or take a few straws. “Where” is anyone guess, as I will explain in next week’s column when I discuss how your husband’s detailer really makes the big decision.” Stay tuned.
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Sarah Smiley is the wife of a Navy pilot and daughter of a retired Navy pilot. She is the author of “Going Overboard: The Misadventures of a Military Wife” (Penguin/NAL), and her syndicated column “Shore Duty” appears weekly in military and civilian newspapers across the country. Read more about Sarah at her website, www.SarahSmiley.com.