Winter 2003-04
Our family was watching The Christmas Carol one holiday season when the dark, third ghost of Christmas future appeared to Scrooge. Our seven-year-old son, Jonathan, ran across the room to sit in my lap, clearly frightened by the ghastly image. Later that night, he woke up crying, "The angel of death is going to come and get me!"
For many families this holiday season, their current spending levels eventually will come to haunt them in the future. They should be as frightened of the temptation to overspend as little Jonathan was of his nightmare. In fact, the average American family will be unable to pay off their Christmas charges until May of the following year. This overspending contributes greatly to holiday stress and robs many families of their future financial freedom.
One way our large family of seven holds debt at bay is to limit our giving to three gifts per person. We told the kids years ago that if three gifts was good enough for the baby Jesus, then three gifts is good enough for them. This tradition has helped to keep the focus of the season where it belongs.
One reader, Sandy, from Colorado, tried this plan and wrote:
I wanted to try your Christmas simplification plan with the three gifts but didn't know how our family would take it. But our finances really needed it. It seems like it takes forever to pay off the credit card bills from Christmas. We explained the idea to the kids, and they seemed to understand. They even made a game of trying to pick three simple gifts they really wanted.
Well, it worked beautifully! We had told the kids they might not get everything on their list, and we found clearance items, like you said, that the kids liked better than the things that were on the list. For the first time in seven years, we don't have credit bills to pay off from Christmas. The emphasis was on the reason for the season, and we don't have the headaches of bills to pay. Why didn't we start this years ago? Thank you, Ellie Kay, for your work in this area.
Here are some other tips to help your Christmas stay focused and on budget:
Document Your Purchases. There's nothing like buying Christmas paper to wrap those presents early, only to discover a month later that you have tons of paper you bought at the end-of-season clearance last year and forgot about it. Or you get a good deal on gifts for teachers and then realize you bought those earlier in the year and forgot where you put them. Write down your purchases - and where you stashed them - on a piece of paper and tape it to next year's December calendar page.
Kids Need to Save Too! Part of teaching your children about money is helping them to plan ahead and, as they get older, pay for their gifts. We give our younger children a certain amount to spend, then when they are around eight years old, we match them dollar for dollar on what they've saved to spend. By the time they are 12, they are buying their own gifts with their money. Encourage your children to get odd jobs in the summer to save for Christmas. Your kids will take pride in their ability to manage money.
Start Early. In February, make a tentative gift-shopping list so you can watch for sales during the year. If you decide on an entirely homemade holiday, make it a family project to begin those handcrafted decorations and gifts in the summer.
Jams and Jellies. By preparing your jams and jellies when the fruit is in season, you can save a lot of money. Present your homemade gifts in interesting baskets, boxes, tins, or other containers you've found at garage sales or on clearance shelves.
Decorate Early. If you decorate the day after Thanksgiving, you not only avoid being out on the busiest shopping day of the year, but you'll save money too. By organizing all the Christmas decorations, you'll discover which items you need and which ones you don't need. Then you can look for those lights that are on sale to replace the ones that didn't survive the year. You also won't duplicate items that you bought on clearance the previous year. With your home decorated so festively, you'll also be less inclined to impulse-buy holiday decorations.
Bartering Moms. Kathie Peel and Judie Byrd, in their book A Mother's Manual for Holiday Survival (Focus on the Family Publishing), advise planning a "mother's trade-out week." During the week before Christmas, five moms will each plan an activity for all the kids that will last about four to five hours. So each mom gets four days off that week and entertains the kids one day. In Kathie and Judie's example, one mom had a kids' cooking day, another did holiday crafts, and another mom took the kids to the dollar theatre. Sounds like a legitimate tradeoff to me!
Wrap As You Buy. Don't forget to label to whom each gift is intended. You may want to keep a master list of the gifts, listing the contents and numbering them as you buy them.
Sharing Christmas. Sometimes the gift of time is the greatest gift of all during the holidays. There are a number of ways you can brighten the holidays of those around you and share the season. We like to visit nursing homes and just spend time with the residents, talking and sharing. Invite a single parent and his or her family over for the holiday dinner - these can be the hardest times of the year for people who go it alone, and the warmth of another family is usually welcomed. One of the traditions on military bases is a holiday cookie drive. One year, we collected 120,000 cookies and distributed them to police officers, fire fighters and others who worked the holiday shift.
Financial Help. One last idea is to give an anonymous gift of money to someone who desperately needs it. You could write a check to your local church and ask them to pass the money along to the family, or you could buy a money order to mail to the family. While you might include a card or message, don't sign it. Remember that the One who sees these acts of love done in secret one day will reward you openly.
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Ellie Kay is America's Family Financial Expert™, an author of seven books, a national radio commentator for Money Matters, and a regular guest on CNBC's Power Lunch. Her best-selling book, Heroes at Home: Help & Hope for America's Military Families (EllieKay.com), was a 2003 Gold Medallion Book award finalist. She is the mother of seven children and the wife of an active-duty fighter pilot.